As humans, we have the gift of speech unique to us and love to chat with one another. When dealing with problems and issues in our lives many reach out to close personal friends to share what we are feeling, we do this for many reasons but mainly to “get things off our chest” and to gain another perspective into what is going on.READ: Starve Your Fears by Feeding Your Dreams
While sharing problems with others may help you to feel better, it can lead to much confusion in your mind simply because you are taking on the perspective of another. This other party doesn’t know what’s right for you, they can only give opinions based on what they have experienced, you have your own solutions inside that will work better if you learn how to tap into them, it’s important to choose advice wisely.
People are givers at heart...so when a problem is expressed it’s a natural instinct to try to help in some way offering ideas and solutions, when receiving this information, you may feel listened to, special, and have a sense that someone cares. While this is the case and most advice is given from a good place, many times this isn’t the correct way for you to move forward.
The correct thing to do in most circumstances is to go within, find out what you are bothered by and ask yourself why, give yourself an “internal checkup” and get to the root of the issue, you may be surprised to find out what’s really going on when you do this. Maybe you fear rejection, maybe you react to others in a way that brings out the worst in them, maybe you fear intimacy, whatever conclusion you arrive at this is when you have the power to make changes to the way the world looks to you.
When to Seek AdviceNow there are many instances when taking advice is not only a good thing but will help your growth immensely, and this is when you want to achieve something in your life that you haven’t done yet.
Let’s say you’re starting a business, I’d recommend finding the most successful person you have access to and reach out, tell them you admire what they do and ask if you can pick their brain to learn from them the formula for success, you would flatter most business owners even asking this and many would love to share their tips with you. How do you think they got there? By asking questions and learning the formula from others.
Let’s say you want more moneyYou can learn so much from people who are wealthy, start spending time with friends that are wealthy, if you don’t have any then make some, you can learn about a wealthy mindset without even asking any questions just by watching how they speak about things. You will probably notice that the conversation is geared towards ideas and visions, in these circles you won’t notice much “drama” involved in the conversations.
Let’s say you’re having a health issue, In this case find your healthiest friend or a nutritionist and ask away, don’t ask someone who is always sick for any advice on health, this is not being rude, it’s being picky about the information you collect and choose to use. On the flip-side if someone close to you is suffering from a health situation, be there for them as much as possible but try to avoid this conversation looping over and over, this will not be beneficial to your own health or for their healing.
Let's say you want a great relationship
and have never achieved this to the extent you want, find a happy couple that have been together for a long time and ask them what’s the secret, they will love to share with you how to keep a relationship fresh, fun and fulfilling, you may learn that it’s about communication and a deep respect for one another, you can take this information into your new relationship to create a partnership that works for you.
When you have a question that doesn’t require someone’s input this is the time to go within, the best way to do this is by meditating, you can do this in silence, with music or a guided track, you can do this for as little as 15 minutes a day or however long you like. Meditating clears your mind clutter and helps you to see your solutions with clarity, you can download a free meditation here. Making this a daily practice is best, you will have the opportunity to learn about yourself increasingly each day and your growth will be immense, you will start to see the world in a whole new way and suddenly those “problems” don’t seem so big.